Monday, September 27, 2010

Grace

Sorry for the lack of posts in a while, I've simply been caught up with a new year at university and the blog had to take a backseat to other priorities, but I'm back today to speak about grace.

One of the most frustrating things about the process of spiritual discovery is the lack of control that a person has over it. When reality is perceived through the egoic state of consciousness, there tends to be a feeling of control that accompanies it. We go about our lives thinking that we are the initiators of our actions (save for the philosophers among us who believe in hard determinism), yet this feeling of personal agency is illusion. This is because we see the actions carried out by the body that we appear to be inhabiting, and the mind assumes itself to be the doer of these actions. The sense of doership that we perceive is nothing but a mental analysis of our experience. When we eat an apple, we might think about how the apple tastes, how it feels in our mouth, what the apple looks like, etc. But all of this is just an analysis of our experience - it does not even closely resemble the truth of the experience itself. Describing the taste or texture of an apple cannot come close to replicating the experience of eating it. When I say that the apple is juicy, the agreed-upon meaning of juiciness is evoked in each of our minds. This allows us to communicate, but it is nothing more than a mental representation of the reality of eating an apple.

How does this apply to the sense of doership? Well, when we eat an apple, we also notice that the body we appear to be inhabiting is the instrument that communicates the sensual experience to us. The body is an instrument of perception. During the process of eating the apple, however, the ego-mind analyzes the experience and claims ownership if it. It does this quite simply, with the thought "I am this body". This single thought, this single identification, is the source of our sense of doership over our bodies. We already identify with the mind (as mentioned in previous posts), so whatever the mind identifies with, we identify with as well. We forget that all of this identification is nothing but thought! It is nothing but a mental analysis of experience. It is not reality. It is our interpretation of it.

Which brings us back to grace. If our sense of doership is just an illusion, an idea created by mental analysis, then who is committing "our" actions? No one is! But that's okay, because that's who you are anyway! Everything that you appear to be - your thoughts, body, actions, personality, etc. - is a manifestation of Life itself. You are a unique expression of Whole. The entirety of reality is choosing to create itself in this moment through you! In a later post I'll expound upon our mutual nonexistence, however for now it is enough to simply open yourself up to the possibility that who you are is not who you think you are, or even more, you are not a thing at all. In recognizing this and the illusory nature of our sense of doership, we see that all happenings in the mystery of Life are simply that - happenings. Things occur without any rhyme or reason. That's why it is a Great Mystery! Things arise, things dissolve. Things are created, things are destroyed. All doings of the universe come about via grace - Life just moves the way it moves. When we realize that things just happen, we are able to let go of our need to understand the intricate workings of things. The mind always wants to know what comes next - this provides it with feelings of security, and there's nothing wrong with that. However, this feeling of security will always fade, because the conditions the cause it will always change. This leads the mind to keep seeking a new place to find comfort. But the truth is that there is no place to rest your head.

The question that arises naturally from this understanding is "If I don't have any control over anything, then what's the point in "doing spirituality" at all? Is there anything I can actually do help me reach Enlightenment?" In short, no. There is absolutely nothing that the little "I" that you think you are can do to influence the universe in anyway. However, this is from the largest perspective. It is a statement about Oneness from the view (or non-view) of Oneness. But if you have not experienced Oneness, then there is absolutely no reason for you to believe it. In fact, regardless of what you may or may not have experienced, it will not serve you to tightly hold onto anything I am saying. Instead, let your experience guide you. Everything you need is right in front of you. If your experience tells you that you are a "doer" and have influence over the world, then there is no reason for you to deny it. Go with it, but don't commit extra energy to this sense of doership either. Remain open to all possibilities; investigate your own experience with a curiosity and openness to see what is really true. If this means that you believe you have control even though Spiritual Master Shablablabla says it's not true, that's fine! Work with what you know. Use your sense of doership to invite the truth into your experience. Use it to meditate. Use it to focus your attention on the truth. Use it instigate positive change. Use it for personal growth. Use it as long as it feels right to do so. When it is ready to drop, it will - and only Grace will instigate this.

As Ken Wilbur and other spiritual teachers have stated, "Enlightenment is an accident, but you can make yourself more accident prone!"

Namaste,

Justin


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