What is awakening?

For the vast majority of people living today, the world is perceived through what I call the egoic state of consciousness - that is, a way of perceiving things that is based on separation, resistance, and ultimately leads to suffering. Trying to pin down exactly what the egoic state of consciousness is, however, can be tricky, as it is all most of us have ever known. To act from ego means to act from a place the reinforces one's sense of being an individual, autonomous being that is separate from his or her environment. When we try to control situations, hold beliefs, convince others that we are right - among an infinite number of things - we are expressing ourselves as being distinct and separate from others. In short, the ego is the thing all of us call "I". If I say that I mowed the lawn, I am implying that I am a distinct entity that is imposing its will upon its environment.

The ego is the part of us that attaches to different thoughts, beliefs, and identities. For example, many of us may think of ourselves as being the roles that we fill - I am a brother, I am a student, I am a good person, I am a Christian, I am a badass - yet none of these things truly say who one is. Who we are is comprised of so many different facets that one can never be pinned downed by using finite labels and concepts. This is partly what is meant when it is said that human nature is infinite: who you are will always be greater than the sum of your parts.

To give an example of how ego works, let's take the idea "I am a student". The word "student" is a word that comes with a bundle of ideas about it - chiefly, someone who is in school. So when I say "I am a student", I am taking this bundle of ideas and applying it to me. But what are ideas? Ideas are nothing but thoughts. So in essence, I am taking a group of thoughts and saying "I am these thoughts", or more specifically, "I am what these thoughts represent". However, more often than not, our attachment to thought is what leads to suffering, because our attachment to a fixed idea denies us the capacity for change. If I think of myself as being a student, what happens when I am no longer in school? I am no longer a student. In other words, I can no longer truthfully attach myself to the idea that is "student". Since when we are students we are all aware that we will one day no longer be in school, it doesn't cause us too much pain when we can no longer identify as students. But what if the identity you are attaching to is something like "good wife", and then you end up getting divorced? Who you thought you were has been completely ripped away from you, which can often lead to an identity crisis and a good deal of suffering.

This is why the egoic state of consciousness will inevitably always lead to suffering: the things that the ego attaches to are always going to change. The universe is always in a state of flux; nothing remains the same forever. When we try to hold onto certain feelings, beliefs, or experiences, we set ourselves up to suffer, because all things are impermanent. As long as our happiness depends upon some sort of outside idea, experience, or circumstance, we will never have unwavering peace. This is why one of the greatest components of awakening is learning to accept things as they are. Acceptance entails non-resistance, whereas the egoic state of consciousness always resists things as they are. We tend to think things like "The experience that I am having right now isn't bringing me enough happiness, so now I must change my experience so that it fits my idea of what will bring me happiness", so we then go out and try to make the world fit our idea of perfection. This generates an overall feeling of lack in people's lives. When we think so much about how much other situations or experiences could be better than what we have right now, we start to view what we do have as deficient. And as long as we are resisting what is happening in the present moment, how can we ever be happy?

This is the game of the ego, and if if the current state of the world is any indicator, it plays its game well. When we are being unaccepting or judgmental, when we mentally resist our current situation, and when fail to act compassionately of some idea we are holding onto in our heads, we can be sure that we are perceiving things egoically.

What is awakening?

Awakening is the process of dropping our attachments to ideas we have. A very, very large factor in our perception of the world is based on the ideas that we hold onto. This includes all beliefs, identities, dogmas, prejudices, and subconscious and unconscious conditioning we may have. When we experience the world, our experiences are always interpreted by ideas that are held in the mind. They serve as filters that distort or perception of reality, so that the way we perceive the world ends up being quite different from the way things actually are. One obvious example of the filtering we do can be seen in racial stereotyping. By believing in different things (and remember that a belief is nothing but ego attaching to a thought) about groups of people, our experiences of other races are altered by our preconceived notions of them.

During the awakening process, our attachment to thought becomes less and less, so that we perceive things as they really are, as opposed to how our minds have interpreted them to be. Awakening must entail a detachment from thought, because enlightenment is about Truth, and no thought is actually true. For many people, this may sound like a preposterous statement. "Of course thoughts are true! I think the sun is in the sky, and that certainly seems to be true - I can see it right there!" It may appear to be this way, but when we view how thoughts actually work, we see that "The sun is in the sky" is a thought about reality, it is not reality itself. It is a concept that points toward the truth. The fact that the sun is in the sky is true regardless of whether there is any idea about it - all truth is self-evident, because the truth is reality itself. As soon is the truth is spoken, it is immediately conceptualized and conveyed and interpreted by the mind, which results in a distortion of the truth. Even these words you are reading right now - they are not the truth. They are my interpretation of the truth - the truth as expressed through Justin.

Awakening often results in suffering for many people, as they find that they are no longer able to hold onto the beliefs about the world that they used to. If someone had built a career for his or herself out of egoic, selfish reasons (*cough cough* health insurance companies), they may come to the realization that they are never going to find happiness in acquiring wealth and material goods. Upon seeing this, they may feel driven to change careers and start a new, more honest way of living. A husband might begin to move away from past habits and ways of thinking that kept the marriage together. As he grows out of thought-based egoic consciousness, he may begin a lifestyle that is more true to himself, but is incompatible with his wife's way of living. Many people do not anticipate the "dirty work" that is required during awakening. It is a complete upheaval of all conditioned beliefs that distort our perception of reality. For people deeply enmeshed in egoic consciousness, this may entail a complete redirecting of one's life goals and way of living.

Although this process of detachment may be painful at times, it can also be very rewarding. When we do not look to thought as a source of truth, we begin to feel more connected with others and our environment, we find ourselves able to stay in the moment more often and for a longer duration, we find inner peace, and life starts to develop a natural flow and rhythm to it.

If you find yourself often in conflict with a particular person or situation, ask yourself: "What thought am I holding onto that is causing me to resist?" Upon becoming aware of our attachments to thought, we are able to gently detach from them and allow our perception of reality to become a little bit clearer.

Namaste.

Justin